sighs...today is a veri bad day. i veri kuku malu lor. something is veri wrong with me the more i practice the more worst i get i really beyond help lor.i really want to help the band and not pull the band down...conclusion is that i am a bad malletist...dunno wat is the solution that can sure this stupid thingy!i broke down twice today stupid. one time during the morning for sectional i was play play then pek chek like angry with myself why cannot play well then broke down...find myself stupid crying over such thing.

go lucnch then calmed down then came bck that time better le was alright le...can le but then when we combine was like shit. mr er came then told us to listen to the recording then i was like stupidly freakingly dumb dumb lor...i played very badly either rush or either slow down haix...i duno y.then mr er was veri angry but i was like i really also want to do well but my hands just dun wan ! then in the evening play through jalan jalan then got scolded by mr er for playing too loud then dunno y the tears started to drop out again then cried infront of the whole band so stupid crying over minor things today.i felt so stupid then the worst thing is i cry none stop cry n cry n cry just cannot stop. stupid i tell u i felt like slapping myself that instance!

fiona you better buck up
if not prepare to b a loser
better not give up
better do ur best
if not u are equaivalent
to a failure